Bad Friendship

Bad Friendship

Case Study: Using the MentalVideo technique to help decide whether to let go of a bad relationship, or hang on and use it as a learning experience

I would like to get your opinion of a very sensitive issue that I was dealing with when I initially began the Silva Ultramind System back in November-December of last year. At the time, I was asking for guidance as to how to deal with a relationship with a friend whom I thought did not have my best interests at heart. I forgave the friend for his actions using the following technique:

I called up my friend up in my mind's eye and surrounded him with a white light and wished him a life of peace, wealth and happiness. I then let the image go and smiled. I actually felt great!

A couple weeks later I was clearing out a folder that had personal letters and cards from friends and family. Because I had received a phone call, I hurriedly place the manila folder on my bathroom counter adjacent to the toilet.

After finishing my phone call, I retrieved the folder; however the contents of the folder ended up all over my bathroom floor with the exception of one letter which went directly in the toilet. This letter was from the friend whom I had forgiven.

I did not know what to make of the situation back in December; so I decided it was best to let the friendship go. Therefore I did not pursue contact with the individual until recently. (a week ago) For whatever reason, I am getting the same negative vibes from this individual. Can you please let me know what you think of this situation? I apologize for the long email but there are not many people whom I can share this situation with.

Hi,

Thanks... and I love it! This whole concept of the MentalVideo is still new to us... Mr. Silva developed it shortly before he passed on... and he's not here to ask him questions. But it makes sense to me. The guidance we receive is objective... physical world guidance, something anyone could see with their physical eyesight... and it is repeatable. What makes it scientifically valid is those two things... objective feedback, and replication.

So I'd say if you decided to move away from that relationship, and you were doing well, and then a letter from that friend fell in the toilet! Sounds like confirmation to me that you did right. Then when you made contact again, you got negative feedback. So... seems to me like that amounts to 3 incidences of objective feedback that you are better off without that particular "friend." (I have some friends like that myself... and much as I dislike dropping anyone, especially someone I considered a friend, it seems to turn out for the best).

The hardest thing... is when emotions get involved. Especially when it is a romantic relationship. We sold an album a couple of months ago to a man who told me that he had called me when I was working at Silva headquarters, a few years ago... classic question: How to get her to come back to me, how to get her to understand that we are perfect for one another. He said I told him to let it go... well, I don't think I was quite that blunt; I ususally explain that we don't control otehr people, that everybody has free will, that it might not be best for her... might not be best for everybody involved. Anyway, he said he finally realized that it was right to let it go and move on.

He's better than the New Yorker that I met in a class that we were presenting up that way... he said that when gave him that kind of advice (instead of telling him how to get what HE wanted) that if I'd been there (instead of on the phone) he would have punched me in the mouth! But, he continued, after he calmed down a bit, he realized there might be something to what I was saying, he tried it out, and it was the right thing.

Anyway... enough reminiscing. Sounds to me like you are getting clear guidance. If you are still curious... or become curious later about whether the situation might have changed... just use the MentalVideo, and then look to see what happens during the next three days.

One more quick story... a graduate named Kathy lost another debit card, which nobody thought would happen after she spent two weeks frustrated while waiting for a replacement. A few days after she got the new replacement card, she found the one she'd lost... well, actually the plumber found it when he came over to replace her broken commode! Don't ask... she has no idea how it got there! She certainly doesn't think that's a sign that she should stop using it! Maybe somebody else would interpret it that way, but Kathy is sure she is meant to use that card.

I hope I've helped a bit with my long answer. Brevity is not my strong point. Let me know if you have further thoughts or questions about it. And keep using the MentalVideo... sounds like you are doing great with it.

Hi Ed,

Thank you very much for your response to my email. I took your advice and went through the mental video technique again. I actually use components of the mental video technique automatically when I practice other meditative techniques. It is very powerful!

As you also recommended, I need to actively take note of the objective feedback that I am getting without allowing my emotions to get entangled. Deep down inside I know that I have to let this friendship go. I guess what confused me about this situation is the difference between my getting out of the friendship versus learning and growing from the experience.

I believe Wayne Dyer mentioned that many times who have family and friends who are our greatest teachers. The issues that we tend to have regarding other individuals are things that we personally need to work on.

I have no problem improving and getting better as a spiritual being. However I think that it is pointless to unnecessarily open oneself up to negative/lower level energies that I always being emanated from certain individuals. Many times I can really feel the energy being drained from my body.

Ed, once again, thank you for your very thoughtful response.

Warmest regards,

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